I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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