You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
