um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
