actually, I'm a sock model
I think I died a long time ago.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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