Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
