That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
