i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
