I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
