YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
