I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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