Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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