508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Farmville is her only friend.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
