Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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