why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I am naked and annoyed.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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