Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
