Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
