My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
