But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
