I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
