I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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