Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
