I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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