i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
