come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
