i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
