so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize