I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
