Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
