Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
