did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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