are you still at the devil's house?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
