i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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