Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
