the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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