ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
