this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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