used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
