Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
