Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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