On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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