I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
