I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
