So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
