We got so high we made milksteak
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize