Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
