I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
