I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
