Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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