What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
