I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
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