I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
