I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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