So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize