I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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