the condom got lost in my hair
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
