4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
