Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
