were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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