Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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