She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
